So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't turn off my feet"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize