there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
