Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
