plz talk dirty to me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
