I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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