I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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