do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
