the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
When did angry sex become our thing?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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