i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
