My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
