oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
