8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
