Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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