he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
