benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
