dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
