Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
