That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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