: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
