Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
