At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
