i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize