I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
