what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
