do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
