have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
