We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
