Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
They have beer where we have blood.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
