i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
