You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize