So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
