new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
