Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize