Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
