Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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