As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
