so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
