It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
