By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
