You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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