i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
