Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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