I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
