Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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