Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
