Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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