I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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