Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
