Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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