Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
