I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize