There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
