If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
