stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
