Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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