We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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