normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
