so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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