better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
