I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
