i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
