You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
