who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
