It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
