Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
