if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize