It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Randomize
