I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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