I want you more than these girls want KFC
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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