went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
