So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize