So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
