were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
