i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
