It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize